Attention Parents, ATTENTION! How young children handle positive and negative attention

     Children thrive on attention.  It’s important to give it to them often from birth on.  They learn how to do everything from the attention you give them and the attention they give back to you.  As a parent you may have noticed your child’s attempts to get your attention.  With babies under six months it’s usually done by crying.  As they grow older, as any parent can testify, it can come in many subtle and not so subtle forms. 

     If a child cannot get enough attention from you when they feel they need it, they will do things to get it.  Often with young children they will act “naughty” to get your attention.  They realize that if they are hurting they’re sibling or pet, putting themselves in danger or destroying things in your house they will definitely get your attention.  This kind of attention is called negative attention.  As a parent, you know that when your child is vying for negative attention it can be a very bad experience for the whole family.  It’s important to teach your child that seeking attention in this way is not ok. 

     There are several ways to help stop this behavior.  First, give them plenty of positive attention.  Positive attention is any attention you give them while they are being good.  Sometimes this can be hard to remember to do since, while they are being good you want to just let them be.  That’s ok, let them play independently, but pop in and praise them here and there for how nice they’re playing with their sibling, being safe, or playing with what they’re supposed to. 

     Second, ignore their negative attention seeking when it’s safe to do so.  Walk away and often they will stop what they’re doing.  Do this often and they’ll learn that it’s a waste of time to be naughty.  If they are doing something unsafe, try not to react to “loudly”.  Walk over quietly, direct them away from this behavior and give them attention if they don’t return to the destructive behavior. 

     Third, find the time to spend more quality time with your kids.  As I’ve said before, the best behaved kids are the ones that have parents that play with them, give of themselves to them and make them feel loved and worthy.  You took the time to have a family so take the time to raise them, you only have to for 18 years, and you’ll have plenty of time when they’re grown to spend on yourself.

Picking Quality Childcare for Your Child

      A great resource for parents of young children, the Quality Rating System is virtually unknown to many. QRS certification for a daycare, home daycare or school-age programs means that that center has gone above and beyond state standards for their program. The more effort they’ve put into enhancing the safety and educational quality of their center the more stars they will receive from QRS.

 

     Although it’s hard to find the data, I’ve read that at least 22 states participate in the system including Iowa, Wisconsin and Illinois. If you are interested in learning more about the program type “Quality Rating System” and your state in your favorite search engine and if your state has a program, it should pop up.

 

     In Illinois, information can be found at inccrra.org. Inccrra stands for Illinois Network of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies. Once you’ve found the website, click on the words “Quality Rating System” on the right side of the page. Then click on the “Quality Rating System” tab and pick “QRS star providers” from the drop down menu. This will provide you with a list of daycares and home daycares, and how many stars they have.

 

     Once you’ve picked a center, visit them and judge for yourself. While a star rating scale is great, nothing substitutes your best judgment for what’s best for your little one.

Infant Swings in Daycares and at Home

     While attending a meeting through work recently the subject of infant swings came up.  At our daycare center we utilize swings for comforting babies, but we are only allowed to keep the baby in it for 20 minutes.  If the baby falls asleep in the swing we are required to move him to his crib unless we have a doctor note to let the baby sleep sitting up due to acid reflux or other stomach issues. 

     The infant specialist from the local YWCA, who was our speaker, told us we should only utilize the swings for three minutes at a time.  She stated that babies don’t like the swing.  She suggested we swing our heads back and forth and see how we liked it.  My mouth dropped open.  Now, this is my personal opinion, but that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.  As an adult, swinging makes me nauseous, but as a child I could swing all day. 

     According to “Why Use Infant Swings”, swinging imitates movement in the womb and this is why babies often fall asleep in the swing.  Our YWCA speaker suggested that babies fall asleep when swinging, especially if they’ve been crying, because of the “Primitive Withdrawal” defense mechanism.  The babies are under so much stress from the swing that they just fall asleep.  I’ve worked with babies for years and I don’t think I’ve ever personally seen this mechanism happen.

     According to LiveStrong.com “Why Babies Cry Before Sleeping”, “Because your baby cannot yet communicate with you verbally, crying serves as a method of communication… However, crying is not a perfect communication tool because your baby may be letting you know he is either tired, ill, frustrated, hungry or full. Babies cry before sleeping for the very same reason---to signal to you a change in behavior.”  “Is it Ok for a Baby to Sleep in the Swing” states that 30 minutes is a good amount of time to let a baby sleep in a swing.  Our state’s Department of Children and Family Services requires babies are to be moved every 30 minutes unless asleep in their crib. 

     In my opinion, swings are great baby care tools when used with supervision and safety in mind.  Yes, babies can be injured when using swings.  The Consumer Product Safety Commission is working on new safety rules for infant swings including requiring swings to have a five point harness system.  I think that is a great idea.  In a daycare setting, as it should be in a home, babies should have proper supervision and the use of an infant swing can be a great help in keeping baby happy.

Sources:

Jennifer Burger, Why Use Infant Swings, eHow.com

What Are Defense Mechanisms Anyway?  Psych Cents

Rachel Nelson, Why Babies Cry Before Sleeping, LiveStrong.com

Erin Carson, Is it Ok for a Baby to Sleep in the Swing, LiveStrong.com

CPSC On Safety Blog

Stolen from Facebook

    

Tiny Literature For Tiny Tots

      Reading to very young children can be very beneficial for future learning.  According to “Kids Health from Nemours”, reading to infants teaches them to communicate, introduces concepts, builds skills and teaches them about the world around them. However, parents and educators may have a difficult time picking just the right book for children under two.  Of course, any book can keep a young child’s interest, but here are several suggestions for books that are colorful and interesting to the littlest reader. 

     Mouse Count, Mouse Paint and Mouse Shapes, three books written by Ellen Stoll Walsh, are excellent picks.  These delightful books teach while staying entertaining for all ages.  Walsh’s three books, featuring a group of mice, teach kids basics in an entertaining way.  In Mouse Paint for example, three white mice are keeping themselves busy while the cat sleeps.  They accidently step in some primary colored paints, red, blue and yellow.  Then they find, when mixing the colors, they can make the secondary colors purple, green and orange.  In Mouse Count the mice are plagued by a greedy snake who is counting them as he collects them in a jar.  Read this one to find out how they escape.  In Mouse Shapes, while hiding from the cat in a pile of shapes, the mice find they can use them to make clever pictures.

     Another set of books perfect for infants and toddlers are six books entitled, Numbers, Food, Animals, Alphabet, Colors, and Playtime all written by Glenn Johnston.  These books are picture books with items from their particular themes.  The pictures are vibrant and colorful and sure to keep the attention of the youngest of readers.

     I’ve found, while teaching infants and toddlers, that these particular books draw their attention again and again.  All 9 books are also available in the cardboard “chunky” style so they are more durable for little destructive fingers.  Start your child or charge off on the right track by starting out their interest in quality literature early.

Source:  Laura L. Bailet, PhD, “Reading Books to Babies”,

About Me

     Rebecca has nurtured and helped children aged six weeks through school-age succeed in learning for the past 20+ years. While working with infants exclusively for the past 13 years, she has found her passion. After raising two of her own children, Rebecca is following her dream of caring for infants, newborns, and their parents.

     Rebecca is also passionate about helping parents successfully return to work while breastfeeding. As a result, she created and implemented a training for daycare teachers entitled “Supporting Breastfeeding Parents in a Daycare Setting.” Rebecca believes empowering parents to be their child’s first teacher is essential for keeping children happy and healthy.

     Rebecca is a trained Newborn Care Specialist and a Postpartum Doula. She has taken a “Lactation for Doulas” class, a sleep conditioning class, and has attended a training on perinatal mood disorders. She looks forward to supporting parents and other family members as they care for their new charges.

    Outside of work, Rebecca is a published author and enjoys writing about everything from infant care to Science Fiction. She also loves reading and has an extensive library of children’s books.

    Rebecca is looking for work as a Newborn Care Specialist in the Northern Illinois, Southern Wisconsin, or Chicagoland area. Contact her at RML1535@gmail.com if you are interested in hiring.