Children thrive on attention. It’s important to give it to them often from
birth on. They learn how to do
everything from the attention you give them and the attention they give back to
you. As a parent you may have noticed
your child’s attempts to get your attention.
With babies under six months it’s usually done by crying. As they grow older, as any parent can testify,
it can come in many subtle and not so subtle forms.
If a child cannot get enough attention
from you when they feel they need it, they will do things to get it. Often with young children they will act
“naughty” to get your attention. They
realize that if they are hurting they’re sibling or pet, putting themselves in
danger or destroying things in your house they will definitely get your
attention. This kind of attention is called
negative attention. As a parent, you know that when your child is
vying for negative attention it can be a very bad experience for the whole
family. It’s important to teach your
child that seeking attention in this way is not ok.
There are several ways to help stop this
behavior. First, give them plenty of
positive attention. Positive attention is any attention you give them while they are
being good. Sometimes this can be hard
to remember to do since, while they are being good you want to just let them
be. That’s ok, let them play
independently, but pop in and praise them here and there for how nice they’re
playing with their sibling, being safe, or playing with what they’re supposed
to.
Second, ignore their negative attention
seeking when it’s safe to do so. Walk
away and often they will stop what they’re doing. Do this often and they’ll learn that it’s a
waste of time to be naughty. If they are
doing something unsafe, try not to react to “loudly”. Walk over quietly, direct them away from this
behavior and give them attention if they don’t return to the destructive
behavior.
Third, find the time to spend more quality
time with your kids. As I’ve said
before, the best behaved kids are the ones that have parents that play with
them, give of themselves to them and make them feel loved and worthy. You took the time to have a family so take
the time to raise them, you only have to for 18 years, and you’ll have plenty
of time when they’re grown to spend on yourself.
